trigger warning: mention of suicide
I’ve been sitting on this rooftop for hours all by my self, completely alone. I’ve been looking off into the distance, the city lights to my right and my house, a few blocks to my left. There my family is sleeping, not knowing where their daughter is, where their sister is, or that I’m even gone from my bed. I’m sitting on the edge, not knowing if this is the right time or place to go, to be done with it all. What if tomorrow I’d wake up and all my problems would be solved, but what if tomorrow I wake up and I still want to leave this place behind.
My problems aren’t even that bad. Other people have it so much worse, if they can get through it so can I… right? I’m not that strong. What if nothing is even wrong with me? What if I made all this up so people would look at me, so I would have an excuse to talk to some one again? I don’t know, I think it’s just the anxiety. These are the questions running through my head. All of them redundant, all of them ridiculous, all of them remaining unanswered.
So I’m still sitting there, on the roof, looking out into the city, where people are enjoying their night. Not a single one noticing the lonely girl sitting on the edge of a parking structure asking herself weather or not to take one final step. If I go home no one will know I had left and that I had asked myself these questions for the 100th night in a row, that I had stared at the city lights looking for answers only I can give. I’d go home, crawl into bed and sleep, or at least I’d try to. But if I did jump, if I finally went through with it, would they think back to the subtle cries for help they hadn’t noticed, or recall of all times I made a joke about ending it all? Would all the people I had scared away come back and say goodbye to the little that would be left of me? Would I finally get to see the faces of the people that had left me long ago?
Still the questions and what if’s flowed through my mind. At first like a fast river, with no direction, all hitting me at once, but eventually they slowed into a small stream. I was able to glide through the questions, still answering few, unsure about most. Now I’m standing, no longer sitting, feeling the wind hit me, rocking me slightly, and I’m not afraid.
When I was younger, I was frightened: by the monsters that would hide in my closet and in the shadows. But now my demons are facing me head on and I’m no longer afraid. I am no longer afraid of the darkness that may await me if I continue on this path I’m on towards death. Now my toes are hanging over the edge, barefoot, I can feel the emptiness below them, nothing there to catch me, accept the dirt, several stories below. I pick my up my right foot, sticking it out over the edge, feeling all the energy in my body.
In the back of my mind I hear a voice, telling me to stop, but it’s over powered. The cloud of chaos in my head suffocates any last bit of hope I have for myself. I know this is going to be the end. No more time for the silly questions, all they have done is push away the inevitable. I’m going to die. I may not go gracefully, but at least I’ll go out with a bang.
With my right foot over the edge, I push of with my left. I’m free falling through the air. I’ve never felt more alive, I haven’t felt like this in such a long time. I feel like I’ve been falling for ages, it has hardly been a second. I see the stories pass, 4 more floors and the questions are still racing. 3 more floors and I think of the past few days and the empty conversations. 2 more floors and I’m relieved its almost over, no more suffering, no more pain. 1 more floor to go and I regret it all. I don’t want to leave.
Story entries for the March – April (2016) Sixpenceee Story Contest can be found here. Simply submit a story to enter. Stories don't necessarily have to be creepy, for example, thought provoking stories or stories with a twist are definitely acceptable.
- Story Contests
- Story Contest: January - February 2018
- Story Contest: June 2017
- Story Contest: January - February 2017
- Story Contest: November - December 2016
- Story Contest: September - October 2016
- Story Contest: July - August (2016)
- Story Contest: May – June (2016)
- Story Contest: March – April (2016)
- Story Contest: January – February (2016)
- Story Contest: December (2015)
- Story Contest: October (2015)
- Short Scary Stories
- Halloween Art Contest
- Glitch In The Matrix
- Scary Encounters
- Story Forum
- Stories & Encounters Found Elsewhere
- Off Topic
- Featured Authors
- Community Announcements
- Game Forum
- Off Topic Forum
- Technical Issues
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest