Colors are just an illusion. Light just bouncing off whatever you're trying to see. And the worst part? They could be entirely different to each and every person and you'd never know.
Your red might be your mother's yellow.
I was like you once, blissfully unaware. Happy. Then I turned 13, and everything changed. Depression takes them young, saps the life out of kids like the mosquitoes sucking summer skin dry. What was once a deeply rooted sadness turned to something more sinister, and a label was slapped on me at the ripe age of 15. Psychotic. Not only was I suffocating in a pressing grey mass of confusion and apathy, I was delusional too. Life is funny like that. All these changes, all the messes my brain has made in it's failures, and there's not one good thing. But damn, if there wasn't some honesty. I've always been a black and white kind of gal. It is or it isn't. Not anymore. Because psychosis, it creeps into your head. Slides in like some nasty sewer rat and you don't even know it's there. Not at first anyways.
I started seeing things. Shadows sliding down my hallway with a sinister calm. Faces in the dark gone as quickly as they came. I know they're there. The drugs they gave me, they try to cover it but it's no use. I've been around the ring and then some. One after the other Zoloft, Abilify, Lexapro, Seroquil. Pills and milligrams blending into one big medicated mess. I've already seen them. You can't, at least not yet. They just blend in to you. Usually black like the darkness they hide in. Faceless, nameless, seemingly harmless. God I wish it were true.
You'll see them eventually, they want you too. Just enough to leave a sliver of doubt in your mind, to throw the world just a little askew. Nothing's worse than denying what you know to be true. It may take years to wear away, alter your brain's chemistry enough so you can finally perceive them. So wrong, so achingly wrong yet they fit in seamlessly. A horrible, effortless piece to the puzzle of life. I wonder how they'll finally get to you. Psychosis is pretty common. Sometimes schizophrenia. Most people succumb to Alzheimers in their later years. All comforted, drugged up, counseled by blurry people denying what they'll eventually know. Tricking even themselves into believing it's the patients who see wrong, not them, never them. You'll all know soon.
Because if they don't torment you in life, they'll always get you in death
(Sorry guys, this is my first story. Please forgive the roughness. I'm open to any and all criticism, and thanks for taking the time to read!)
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