There's not a day I cant remember where I've always had this black blur in my right peripheral, looking at my eyes in a mirror they are ice blue with the right eye having a brown spot. Growing up I remember my mother always being gone and leaving me alone inside the house but much of those memories are a blur whenever I attempted to recall my lonely childhood. I had a best friend I called Mary, yes you read that right..Mary wasn't real according to my mother and only I could see her but that didn't stop me from playing with her when I was alone. My mother had always made a point whenever I said Mary's name to immediately hush me and change the topic to something else about her and what she's been doing lately; talking a million miles and always touching her hair while she cooked, she was always cooking whenever she was home leaving me in the living room so she could half hear what I was doing. One morning I remember waking up to a familiar smell radiating from the kitchen, as I'm starting to get out of bed and my toes touch the floor Mary stops me and asks if I'd like to play a game.
The game she always wanted to play was hide and seek where she would hide and I'd try to find her always running around the house and trying to be silent to not make mother upset. As I was making my way down the hall to check the closet I was stopped by mother right when I was about to open the basements door, she frowned at me as her brown eyes met mine. “not today” is all she ever said when I came even inches of the basement door, mother grabbed my hand and took me into the kitchen to eat the meal she worked so hard to make without asking me if I was hungry she forces the spoon in my mouth and tells me to not waist a drop as she worked very hard on this soup. Looking into my bowl there's chunks of meat and noodles with a red ribbon of sauce she says she gets from the market which has a taste something similar to pasta sauce, I never really liked the taste of her soup but it made her upset when I wouldn't eat it she would say it made my eyes shine brighter and my skin beautiful while she touched her face. Mother left again that morning and as usual I sought out Mary to play, she wasn't in the mood to play today she just wanted to sit on my bed and ask me questions about mother which was starting to annoy me. “Do you like mothers soup?” she would ask. “Its okay” I always replied when that question was brought up..“why do you care so much?” I asked looking at her, whenever I asked her that question she never answered and went back to wanting to play. As the afternoon went on we began playing hide and seek again as I made my way through the house looking in every room and closet to find her, I hear a laugh and see her run from the kitchen towards the basement again. Making my way down the hall I stop at the basement door and place my hand on the knob and slowly start turning it, as I began to open the door mother appears out of nowhere and immediately shuts the door and latched the lock up top giving me the same look she always does “you know the rules” she says “you know I said the basements not for kids” as she walks away. I put my ear against the door to listen for Mary and I hear her laugh from the other side, it always sounds like air moving behind the door.
Mother begins making her way to the kitchen again to begin dinner and I'm left confused thinking she wasn't home and how did she get home so fast, as I began to question her she yet again shoved the spoon in my mouth this time it was stuffed pasta with the ribbon of red sauce. “there” she said “now go wash up and get into bed”. Mother was not really a talkative person and always kept to herself unless the topic was about her, anything else she would hush you and tell you to not focus on such things and to be more like her. Mother wasn't very affectionate towards me and the only times she seemed to take interest was when she made me food, if I ever refused to eat what she made she would freeze it and make me eat it another day. In the bathroom while brushing my teeth I noticed something in my right eye, the brown spot I had that was the size of a pencil tip grew to the size of a pea. “mother!!” I screamed freaking out that something might be wrong, mother runs into my room dropping the dishes in the sink to see what I'm screaming about. I've never seen her so worried before as shes grabbing my face and looking in my eye. “don't worry about it, that's nothing to worry about” as she touches my hair and starts putting me to sleep. Mother has been very angry lately more so then usual her hair has been fading color to a faint white at her roots which she touches up with dye. She was always touching her hair and made a point to talk about herself all the time to the point it's all I knew, Mother. Waking up the next morning into the same routine I can only remember I rush to look at my eyes again in the mirror and to my surprise my right eye was brown. Before I could say anything mother was already next to me with a smile letting me know breakfast was ready, I began to sit at the table and Mary appeared in the chair across from me watching me eat with a still face. “mother” I said as I finished my soup “Mar” she cuts me off and says she doesn't want to hear what Mary thinks about her soup before I could finish what I was going to say. It didn't cross my mind how she knew what I was going to ask at the time so I began to play like usual with Mary..It was the same game every day hide and seek but this time Mary wasn't being nice about how we played she was changing the game to where I was to hide and she looked for me, as we started playing the game and I made my way into the hall to look for a place to hide I noticed mother was home all day today and the basement door had been left slightly open. Reaching my hand to open the door yet again mother was there instantly to close the door always saying I'm not allowed to go into the basement yet sending me on my way to play elsewhere. After dinner I wasn't feeling good and a fever started to set in, mother put me into bed tucking me in for the first time in forever. Mother grabs my hair and twirls it while shes touching hers and tells me its beautiful she looks into my eyes and tells me everything is okay and it's just the flu.
Waking up the next morning still feeling sick I run myself a bath trying to find something to make me feel better, as I was toweling off I couldn't help to notice both my eyes had now turned brown. Mary was watching me but she looked sad today for some reason “you're to sick to play” she asked, I replied to her that I wasn't feeling like playing today and her silhouette grew faint as she frowned and asked “tomorrow?” as she faded into a black mass. Mother had entered the room at the same time with a bowl of soup for me to eat telling me that it will make me feel better, reluctantly I ate the soup as mother watched with a smile looking me in the eyes while her smile became somewhat sinister. As I finished my bowl of soup mother had told me she has to go out for a few hours for her job and she would return with groceries and medicine for me, hours pass and mother finally walked through the door looking very upset..Mother puts her bag down and tells me she couldn't get stuff to make the soup she always made because her job had laid her off as she looks around the kitchen for a substitute, luckily for her I refused to eat my soup another time and she had frozen some. Serving me my soup mother sat across from me where Mary usually sits, I look around and Mary isn't in sight..I didn't think too much of it because yet again there's mother talking about herself but this time I was actually interested in her ramblings and she was saying how fast my hair is growing and how beautiful I had became over the last few months saying how much I look just like she did when she was a little girl brown eyes and all. Mother had gotten up from the table exclaiming she had frozen vegetables in the basement she remembered she stored away for emergencies and began to make her way down the hall to the basement leaving me alone yet again for a few hours. Mary finally decided to make an appearance once I was done eating and threw a fit that I wasn't playing with her, not feeling too well I decided to play with her so she left me alone..Mary's favorite game was hide and seek it never changed and just like last time she wanted me to hide, as I started looking for a hiding place she stops me and says she wants to play the game somewhere different like outside. I can't remember a time I've left the house since I was really little since mother discouraged it, Mary told me it's safe and everything will be okay that we're just playing a game..Mother was still in the basement so I decided to grab her keys and unlock the front door that had the same dead bolt the basement had up top, opening the front door for the first time on my own was like a sense of freedom as I stepped outside. Mary encouraged me over to a park down the street where we played hide and seek before I knew it the sun had gone away and the darkness of night had set in, I was so distracted from being outside and following Mary I couldn't remember how to get home. Hours pass by and I fell asleep to be woken up from an old lady wondering where my parents are, I didn't have very much experience talking to strangers or people at all because mother was so strict. Mary was nowhere in sight and the old lady had called the police because I was alone and wouldn't tell her where I lived, as the police arrived they said I fit the description of a missing child that the mother had called in over night.
As the police are asking me questions asking everything from am I being abused to starved because apparently I was very frail and sick, I'm still not talking as they are taking me to my mother who was waiting outside in a panic. Mother had approached me to take me and the officer hesitated asking if he could have a look inside the house first, mother was extremely upset saying it's not necessary she was saying anything to make them leave. Walking up to the front door the officer had smelled something very odd not being able to put his finger on what the smell was, pushing past mother he tells her he needs to look inside to see if my home environment is suitable. As the officer is making his way through the home he notes the place is a mess with clothes and items spread everywhere with the odd smell seeming to come from the basement, I had never thought anything about our house or the smell as it's all I've ever known. Mother starts to panic when the officer makes his way down the hall and stops at the basement door, as he grabs the door knob mother freaks out and goes into a rage I've never seen before as she jumps on his back biting him and screaming..The officer calls for backup as I'm watching both mother and him in a swirling fit as she's screaming at him to not go in there it's her life's work. The parts in between where they subdue her and take me outside became like a fog as I stood there in shock, as other police units arrived at my house they took mother away and had taken me to this tall grey building where I had sat in a white room with just a table and chairs inside..A man had walked in and took a seat across from me where he began asking these strange questions, he asked me if I knew where my mother was going during the day and if I knew what was in the basement. I had told him mother never allowed me in the basement and always got mad when I tried, as I'm answering his questions Mary appeared across from me and she was smiling as she waved to me. The man began to take photos out of an envelope and placed them in front of me telling me me to look at them, as I'm looking at these photos I'm confused by them, they look like mother. Confused I ask the man what's going on and he proceeds to let me know that my mother had a twin sister who had gone missing before I was born with her daughter that would have been around my age when she went missing, mother had apparently suffered from mental illness claiming she was her twin and that mother had actually gone missing taking her sister identity. Still confused by what this man is telling me he then leans forward and tells me he's sorry he has to tell me this but mother had actually murdered her twin sister and her child in the basement, but mother was so sick she had kept her twin alive for years taking body parts off her to make her soup she was feeding me..the worst part of it all is they found mother had fed her sisters child to her to make her pure again as mother had said, the man places another photo on the table and as he slides it to me its a photo of Mary with big brown eyes like mine had became. Mother had been feeding me her twin until she ran out of worthy parts..The day Mary had me come play outside was the day mother had been making herself a bowl of soup stalk...now that I think about it mother was strangely happy my eyes turned brown like hers and my hair was that of hers, and how angry she became when I wouldn't eat her soup...mother had been planning that night to finally allow me in the basement where there she was going to eat me..mother was feeding me the soup to prep my body so when she finally had herself a bowl of soup everything she wanted would finally be hers..youth.
That day the black blur in my peripheral had gone away..it was always Mary keeping an eye on me.
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