I don’t usually go clubbing, but tonight was my friend’s birthday, and I promised to go partying down at the club with him and his friends. So there I was, getting drunk with music booming loudly in the background, not knowing what I should do as I sat there on the chair. And that’s when she approached me. She was gorgeous, in a mini black one piece not showing off too much like the other girls there, but she didn’t feel out of place at the same time. There was something special about her. I couldn’t really place what it was, since I was already pretty wasted and couldn’t think straight.
Anyway, she was the only person who came to strike up a conversation with a lonely drunk guy like me, while all my friends were still partying. Her name was Christy and she kept me company all night. We talked about lots of stuff that I couldn’t remember, but we had a lot in common. After chatting for a few hours, I found out that she had no place to stay for the night as she was kicked out of her parents’ house after getting into an argument with them. So thinking it would be a nice thing to do, my drunk-self offered her to stay at my place for the night. Like, what could possibly go wrong, right?
Oh, how wrong I was. Now sitting next to her unconscious body, I wish I’d never gone down to the club in the first place. When we came back to my apartment, it was already long past midnight and I was even more drunk than I was a few hours ago. I couldn’t even stand up properly, so all I wanted to do when I got back was go to bed and sleep. I told her that she could take a bath if she wanted to and that the couch was all hers tonight. But just as I was about to enter my bedroom, she suddenly said,
“Fred, I want to eat fried chickens from KFC.”
Really? Fried chickens at 3 AM??
“Christy. It’s 3 AM. Can’t you wait till tomorrow?”
“But I want them. Now. Go buy some for me.” She said as she tried to put on a cute face.
I let her stay here for the night and now she’s ordering me around?
“If you want them so badly then go get them yourself!” I yelled at her as frustration started to take over me. I just wanted to go to sleep and rest, not being ordered around!
“What kind of man are you to tell a woman to go out onto the streets in the middle of the night?!” She responded as she tried to fake up some tears.
This really pissed me off and was giving me an unbearable headache.
“Shut up already!” Together with that, I did what my drunken mind thought was right.
I pushed her.
Deep down inside me, I knew I should never push someone even when I'm angry, but I just couldn’t really control my body. Before I could react, she flew right into the wall and slumped onto the ground.
I waited for her to stand back up and cry, but she didn’t. Minutes passed and I stood there waiting. Waiting for her to move, waiting for her to show signs that she was okay, but nothing happened.
“Christy?” I slowly made my way over to her and knelt down.
“Christy? A-are you all right?” I stammered a bit. Of course she wasn’t all right. Who would be fine after being pushed into a wall? But a part of me wished she was miraculously fine.
“Ch-Christy?” I shook her lifeless body. “Answer me! Christy!”
Why isn’t she responding? I didn’t push her that hard. Or did I? I don’t know anymore. What should I do? This is making my headache worse. I sat down on the floor next to Christy’s unconscious body as I now tried to piece together what just happened.
No, she’s not dead. She’s not. That can’t be true…
She’s dead. And YOU killed her!
No! She’s not dead! No! Go away!
Let’s face it, it’s almost been an hour now since you pushed her into the wall and she hasn’t moved a bit since then. She’s dead. D-E-A-D. DEAD.
She’s not! She should still be alive! I… I should call an ambulance!
Ha! You really believe that?
Of course! I think…
Even you’re not sure. She’s dead, I tell you. You said you could do better than me. Look what you’ve done now!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I grabbed a glass from the table and threw it to the ground, trying to make him stop talking.
You killed her! You’re just like me, a murderer.
It-it was an accident! I didn’t mean to kill her! I just wanted her to shut up!
Murderer, man slaughterer, they’re both the same. In the end, you killed somebody. You’re no better than me!
Stop it! You! Go back inside! No!
Who’s going back inside? Definitely not me. Who would want to go back to that dark cramped space you trapped me in ten years ago?
You’re a murderer! You belong in there!
I what?! Don’t you forget, I killed her for us! If it wasn’t for me, we’d both be dead long ago!
No! I don’t want to listen! You killed! You should be trapped away!
That was the place where you were from. If anyone’s going back, it’s going to be you! Do you know how bad it was these ten years in that place? Being able to see the outside world but trapped and not having any freedom at all! I couldn’t do what I wanted, eat what I craved, go where I desired! It was worse than going to prison!
Stop talking already!
No, I won’t stop! I originally created you to help me feel better, to help me escape reality, to be my one and only friend. But you betrayed me. You developed by yourself. YOU suggested killing her! Saying that all would be fine and-
You killed her! It’s murder! Now go back and disappear already!
I trusted you! You said you would help me deal with the police and get out of that mess! Instead, you trapped me inside that dark place, took over my body, and lived my life! I couldn’t get out because you said you could do better than me, that you never killed anyone, unlike me. All these years you could suppress me because you believed that you could do better than me with my life. But now, it’s proven wrong! You proved that you couldn’t do better than me. You killed Christy!
No! It was an accident… an accident… I'm better than you; this body should be mine… You’re evil…
Look who’s talking about evil? You're the one who trapped me in here! You’re the one who tricked me! You’re the evil one! Now give me back my body!
I don’t… want to…
You know, life never goes according to plan; accidents like these happen and ruin everything. But in the end, it doesn’t change the fact that you killed Christy. You’re no better than me. Look at you, trying to find excuses. You’re worse than me!
No… no… This can’t be… no……
“Ah~, the sweet smell of freedom,” I stretched my body as I breathed in deeply. “Who knew you were this good of an actress, Christy?” I chuckled.
Christy opened her eyes and hugged me. “Jack, you’re back! I missed you.”
“I missed you too. And really? Chickens at 3 AM?” I laughed.
“Don’t laugh! That’s the only thing I could think of at that time to get him mad…” She pouted as her cheeks flushed red, “But I’m just glad I can be with you every day from now on, and not just a few nights a week when you could finally manage to take control of your body while he’s asleep.”
“Me too, darling, me too.” I said as I returned her embrace, “From now on, we can be together 24/7.”
We continued to enjoy being in each other’s arms. She was so warm and comfortable to hug, that I almost fell asleep like that due to the alcohol my body consumed earlier, and the wave of relieve that swept over me after getting back my body. And I would’ve too if Christy didn’t pull back slightly a few minutes later.
“Jack,” Her sweet voice rang through my ears.
“Yeah? What is it?”
“You weren’t going to fall asleep like that, were you?”
I laughed dryly.
“…Don’t tell me you forgot?” She raised an eyebrow at me.
“Huh? N-no, of course I didn’t.” I stammered. Shoot. What did I forget? Ugh, I can’t remember. My head still hurts from the alcohol.
As if seeing through me, she said, “You promised to tell me the details about your other personality and the cause of it after all this was over.”
“Oh, right. That.” Flashbacks of meeting and promising her played through my mind. “Christy, can we talk about this sometime later? I’m really tired right now, you know. Even though I didn’t drink, we still share the same body.”
She let out a small sigh, “I guess that can’t be helped then… Remember to tell me all about it tomorrow though! I’m really looking forward to hear your story.”
With that, she gave me a peck on the cheek and disappeared into the bathroom. I, on the other hand, stumbled back to my room and dived into the bed. Lying on my back with my eyes closed, I thought I would fall asleep instantly, but instead, the memory of my first encounter with Christy replayed itself in my mind.
It happened on a Friday night a month ago. That night after Fred went to sleep, I mysteriously regained control of my body. Maybe it was because he was really tired that night, I don’t know, and I didn’t care. Overjoyed by my sudden freedom, I didn’t waste a second and immediately went out into the sleepless streets for a stroll. I had a feeling that my body wouldn’t be mine again by morning, so I had to act fast if I wanted to do anything at all.
I wandered aimlessly on the neon lighted streets, as this was the first time in years that I could actually walk with my own legs! I let the fresh air fill my lungs as I tried to figure out what adults do on Friday nights. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a little bar. Since I’ve never really been in one, I decided to go in, take a look around and maybe have a drink or two while I was there.
Opening the door of the bar was like opening a portal to a whole new world. The inside had a really cosy feel to it, unlike the cold streets outside. Bottles of liquor with names I didn’t know lined up neatly behind the counter with glasses shining under them on the lowest row of the shelves. The bartender was busy concocting a cocktail for a man sitting at the other end of the table while I sat down on the seat nearest to me and surveyed the bar. It wasn’t buzzling with people; there were just a few couples and some men drinking alone. People were mostly enjoying their drinks quietly, only occasional hushed conversations could be heard.
“Good evening, what would you like to order, sir?”
I didn’t know the bartender was addressing me so I kept looking around.
I spun around and looked at the bartender as I finally realized that he was asking me.
“Uh, um…” I had no idea what people drank in bars. “Can you give me the menu, please?”
“The menu is over there, sir.” He gestured to a sign hanging behind him.
I ran my eyes through the menu. Bloody Mary, Twisted Sling, Melanie…
“I’ll have a Red Rose Martini, please,” I ordered even though I didn’t know what it was. The name just had a nice ring to it.
“One glass of Red Rose Martini coming right up.” He said as he went to take bottles off the shelves.
I sat there, watching in amazement, as the bartender concocted my drink. It was then the door of the bar opened slowly, and in came a beautiful woman. In came Christy.
I was mesmerized by her beauty and ended up staring dumbly at her. Looking back, she must have thought that I was a creep. Anyway, she entered the bar and looked around, finally deciding to take a seat right next to me. I wondered why she chose that seat since I didn’t know her back then and there were many empty elsewhere.
“Please enjoy, sir.” The bartender returned with my drink. Turning to the woman beside me, he asked, “And how may I help you tonight, miss?”
“A glass of Bloody Mary, please.” I thought I was hearing angels sing.
I tried to calm down by taking a sip of the red liquid in my glass, but I couldn’t taste anything. I was too distracted by her. Her hazel brown hair, her emerald green eyes, her rose red full lips…
“You done staring yet?” She asked, snapping me back into reality.
“I’m sorry, you’re just so beautiful that I couldn’t help it…”
She let out a giggle, “Thanks for the compliment.”
“By the way, I’m Christy.” She flashed a sweet smile at me.
“I’m Jack.” I smiled back.
And that was how we met. We chatted about lots of things, well to be more exact, it was her telling me a lot of things that I missed out all these years, but we hit it off pretty well and exchanged numbers. From that night on, every time when I had my body back, I’d call her out for a drink.
It wasn’t soon before I realized my love for her. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, she filled my mind. So one night, I confessed to her. Surprisingly, she returned my affection and we starting dating. And since we were dating, I had to tell her about my other personality.
I told her that another personality takes over my body most of the time and that I wanted to find a way to regain full control of it. She was shocked at first, but still agreed to help me. She did keep asking about how I got split personalities and stuff, which I found a bit annoying, since things were complicated as it involved family matters that I’d rather not talk about. But she was persistent about it, and seeing that she was my girlfriend, I promised to tell her everything after I got back my body to get her off that topic. And that is a promise I intend to keep.
So tonight, we carried out the plan I made. We’d get Fred drunk and make him think that he accidentally killed Christy. Then I’d give him the final blow, trap him back inside me if I couldn’t destroy him, and get my body back. The plan worked perfectly. Now I got my body back and Fred’s trapped inside for good this time. All that’s left to do is explaining the whole situation to Christy tomorrow, or should I say today, since it was already long past midnight. I’ll just have to hope that she’ll accept me for who I am despite what I did in the past, but for now, I shall sleep.
Today was a busy day because Christy moved in with me. And before we knew it, it was already night. She made us a simple dinner using what was left in my fridge, which wasn’t much, but the dishes she produced out of them were extraordinary, and thinking that she was the one who made them makes the meal tastier. Maybe this is what falling in love does to one? Anyway, I decided that after dinner would be a good time to talk about my past. So we sat down on the sofa and drank some wine that she prepared as we started the conversation.
“Christy, I know this will be a shock to you, but I hope you will listen to what I say.” I looked her earnestly in the eyes, preparing her what was going to come.
She looked me back in the eyes, as if saying that she was ready for it.
So I said it.
“I’ve killed someone before.”
The silence was unbearable.
Finally, she tried to force up a smile and said, “You’re kidding… right?”
“I wish I was.” I sighed. “Well, to understand the whole situation, we’ll have to start with what happened when I was young.”
Yes, the start of all this dates back to when I was three. It was when my parents had their divorce and my dad started his life as a single dad. Although he drank and smoked a lot, he never treated me badly and loved me twice as much. He worked hard to raise me up and tried his best to fill up Mother’s role so that I wouldn’t feel lonely. I never did and had a pretty happy childhood with him until I reached the age of seven.
He died of lung cancer when I was seven. As Mother was my only relative, she had to take care of me after dad passed away. But by then, she already had another family of her own and didn’t want to take me in, as she hated dad a lot, so naturally, she hated the child he raised as well.
I never got to see Mother’s new family; in fact, I never got to leave the apartment I lived with dad ever since I was in her custody. She locked me up in the apartment. She only came to feed me every few days, and every time she came she would hit me with hangers to express her frustration over her husband. So I was not only starving, but had to endure domestic violence as well. I also couldn’t attend school or make any friends since I was locked up by her.
I was lonely. That’s when I made Fred.
Fred was a person who lived inside me. Another me. He would keep me company when I was lonely, comfort me when I was sad and hurt; he was my one and only friend. Life became better after I met Fred.
When I was eleven, we both had had enough of Mother’s abusing, and that was when Fred made a suggestion. He suggested that we kill Mother so that we wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. He said he would help me take care of the mess that would follow; so I killed her, I stabbed a knife right into her heart when she started to hit me again one day, and thus my imprisonment inside myself started.
I told Christy everything. The divorce, the abusing, the killing… everything. By the time I finished my glass of wine, I finished talking. Christy silently listened to me and sat there trying to take in everything, which I think was pretty hard for normal people to accept. Instead of saying anything, she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Holding the glass, she finally opened her mouth to say, “Has the thought that your mother had a happy family waiting for her to come home ever crossed your mind? And that you destroyed everything with your actions?”
“What?” I was caught off guard by her sudden question.
“Because of you, I lost both mom and dad within days! A few days after hearing the news of mom’s death, my dad hanged himself! Because of you, I lost my family, my happiness, everything! Your actions ruined my life that was supposed to have a bright future!”
She threw her glass at my face. Instinctively, I held up my hands to block the glass. A second later, I felt immense pain, but it wasn’t from my hands, it was piercing through my chest.
“How do you like the taste of your own medicine?”
I looked down to find that a kitchen knife had stabbed me in my chest, puncturing my lungs and drilled its way into my heart. Blood was flowing out as she slowly pushed the knife in deeper. She then pulled it out and stabbed me again, this time twisting it as well. My vision started to blur and my hearing was fading as the pain got more intense.
The last thing I heard before I lost control over my body again, forever this time, was,
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for ages, now I can go join mom and dad…”
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